Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Conflicts between Parents and Adolescents

Conflict between parents and adolescents is not a new thing. In fact, clash and arguments between these parties on different issues have become a major source of discussion and debate among psychologists and relationship experts. Teenage is a very sensitive stage. Adolescents establish new social relations outside the family, friends, colleagues and former relationships. They get a taste of freedom whereas parents still want to maintain control over their activities. This is the phase when children are most susceptible to outside influences. Parents need to tread a fine balance between control and freedom. There are different source of conflicts between parents and teens such as,

· Responsibilities including family tasks and use of money etc.

· Family relationships like relations with siblings or elder members of the family.

· Moral values such as, law enforcement or honesty or integrity etc.

· Social customs and options. One can mention time to go home, discipline and choice of friends here etc.

· Studies- study habits and academic performance etc.

Above mentioned reasons are primary sources of conflict between parents and adolescents. In teen phase, children want to have a greater degree of autonomy to make their own decisions on issues that affect them. They want to reduce the control exercised by parents on some aspects of behavior of children, especially those issues that they consider theirs. However, parents should explain to their children the establishment of standards. Parents should take into account the needs and possibilities of their children and decide accordingly. These conflicts can always be sorted out if parents display maturity and better understanding. Discipline is very important here. They should neither refuse all the demands of the kids nor should grant them excess liberty. Each demand should be considered on its merits.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Parenting Teenage Girls

Parenting teenage girls is not an easy task. As girls reach teenage, they experience lot of physical, emotional and hormonal changes. It is a very complicated stage of their lives and parents must tread cautiously while dealing with the child. Teenage girls are often prone to risky behavior and it is the job of parents to keep watchful eyes over them. The real problem arises when girls don’t feel confident enough to talk to the parents about the problems and dangers they face. She wants to tell the secrets but something or other hinders her.

The best way to tackle such situation is to become your daughter's best friend. Mothers can do a much better job at this than fathers. Mothers can act as mentors to guide their daughters. They should behave, talk and deal with their daughter in a friendly way so that child can be encouraged to share her things with the mother. Listening helps in overcoming this troubled phase. Don’t judge, condemn or pass comments on her. Just listen to her and suggest her whenever she seeks it. Allow her to share whatever she has in her mind.

The bond between mother and daughter is a very strong one. Teenage girls need emotional support and there is no one better suited to provide that than the mothers. Take care of all the emotional and physical needs of your daughter. Never ever use force with her. There is no point abusing her physically or emotionally. This can lead to disastrous consequences. At the end of the day, remember that she is your daughter and you must let her know that you love her and you are always there for her. Care for her, spend time with her and be patient.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Tips for Healthy Parents and Teens Relationship

It is never an easy task for parents to handle teenagers. This is such a phase when the teen is going through lot of changes in physical, mental, emotional and environmental aspect. He is being exposed to a new world and he seeks freedom. Quite often, relationship between parents and teens take a negative turn which results into a long term issues between both parties. But if the parents manage to handle kids in an appropriate manner, the bond is strengthened. To forge a good relationship with your teenager, you must be involved. This involvement refers to finding out his likes and dislikes. There are plenty of things parents and teens can do together which helps your teen in opening up to you and consider you as a friend.

Parents should not be overly strict or liberal with the teens. There must be a balance between two extremes. Be strict when required and at the same time don’t impose yourself for every small reasons. Parents must make efforts to communicate on a daily basis. Ask them about their career preferences, social circle, schools, colleges etc. It creates an atmosphere of trust.

It is important for parents to actively show concern for their teen. Parents must strive to be a friend to their kids. Teenagers must be handled with care and caution. Parents should also assume the role of a mentor for their teenagers. Finally, once a week parents should take out their teen alone and have heart-to-heart conversation.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Parenting Teens

If parenting is a great source of joy then it is also a complicated responsibility. Right from the time when the baby is born, parents have to work double hard to make sure baby is well taken care of. But perhaps the most difficult phase is parenting teen. Teenage has always been considered as very complicated for both parents as well as the teens. It is a stage between childhood and adulthood.

Adolescents are not adults yet and at the same time, they have left the childhood behind. Every aspect of a teenager’s life changes drastically. Peer pressure comes into effect, doing things own way becomes the single most important factor, hormones run wild and he also has to face harsh realities of the world. Some of the common teenage problems worldwide are alcohol, drugs, sex, violence and peer-pressure. When a child reaches teenage, parents needs to be on their toes all the time.

Turning teens into well adjusted adults is a great challenge for any parents. Parenting teens is a process that demands understanding, friendly attitude and patience. It’s not as if only parent are worried when a child turns teen.

A teenager is also worried about number of things right from wearing the right clothes, peer pressure to fitting in at school, body changes and hormones. It is important for parents to build a good relationship with their teens. The process should begin with understanding your teen as your friend. Shouting, scolding etc will not help the cause. In fact, these methods can further worsen the situation. A teen needs to be understood by his parents.

Parents should ensure that teen is taking personal responsibility. They should be praised for right actions and choices. Parents should not make rigid rules. Rules are subject to change as child grows old. There is no point treating a sixteen years old teen the way you treat six years old.

If anything about your teen is making you uncomfortable, try discussing it. It is important not to lose your calm during the discussion. Give selective freedom to your teen but also make it clear that they will be responsible for consequences of their choices. Sometimes, parenting involves making unpopular decisions but stick to them. It will only be beneficial for your teen in the long run. Communicate on a daily basis and once in a week, take him out alone.